Buy this shirt: Official I’m Not Mad This is Just My Face Shirt, hoodie, tannk top and long sleeve tee
But Emma, don’t you want to maintain some semblance of sexiness with your sleepwear?, you may also ask, and my answer is: no, not really. Cool girls, we’re taught by rom-coms, sleep in oversized band tees and underwear, when they sleep in anything at all—and, yes, I do refer to my nightgown as “flannel birth control,” because the idea of sexual activity happening in or near it is literally unfathomable. What I didn’t expect, though, was how purely nice it would feel to go to bed all sexlessly comfy, especially in my chronically underheated Brooklyn apartment. Who needs alluring sleepwear when you’re getting a solid eight hours a night? (Plus, I’m famously single, so who cares?)
But Emma, isn’t it hot to sleep in flannel?, you may ask, and to be honest, I understand the reticence to embrace the Lanz lifestyle. In the interceding years between the ages of nine and twenty-seven, I mostly slept in athletic shorts and tank tops, as befits a chronically sweaty sleeper, but let me be the first to say; I have yet to experience the feeling of being overly warm in my nightgown. Will that change in August? Sure, and maybe I’ll break the athletic shorts back out then, but I’ll still have my nightgown tucked away in my closet waiting for the first frost.
I’ve never been a particularly good sleeper, but as it turns out, having designated nightwear to change into officially signals to my lizard brain that it’s time for sleep, or, at the very least, time to watch Will and Grace reruns under the covers while applying moisturizer and sipping hot tea. Ever since I started slipping on my soft, fuzzy Lanz nightgown after dinner, I’ve gone to bed feeling like a March sister; cozy, warm, and free from the pains of overly binding clothing. (They had corsets; I have too-small sports bras I refuse to get rid of because they’re from Lululemon. Same thing.)
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